An unknown author is quote often quoted as writing “For each minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness”. Quite probably most of us have experienced the results of that quote. So what’s anger and just what do we do with it? Websters dictionary defines anger as “an emotional state that might range in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage”. Whoops there we go again, another example of that which has visited all of us many times.

Understanding anger just a bit more we learn that it can be caused by events in our lives that are internal to ourselves as well as external. Possibly you were one of the commuters caught on the freeway for over an hour last night while work crews cleaned up that accident. When you slammed your hand onto the steering wheel you were expressing anger at an external event of your life.

Now lets look for an example of an internal event causing anger in our lives. Divorced? Well when you spend the weekend fuming over the amount of money your ex-spouse took with them when they left you are internalizing anger. If that example hits a bit too close to home then lets look a bit deeper. How do you feel when you remember how your baby brother broke your prized model of that WWII aircraft? That my friend is anger triggered by an internal event.

This wonderful thing we call anger is a natural and instinctive method in response to threats. At times in human history it is anger and the triggered behaviors that have protected individuals when faced with danger. These dangers provoked us into a fight mode to defend ourselves. However with current laws, and common sense this type of action may not be called for in society this day. Therefore anger is high on the list of human attributes we need to control.

Anger control is usually reached in one of three methods. Probably the healthiest approach is to express the anger in a non-aggressive yet assertive manner. If you can learn to express your needs without hurting others you might be able to clear the air with no harm done. A difficulty in this approach is that many are not capable of being “assertive” without resorting to a pushy or demanding nature. Lets see: assertive without aggression or move on to the next anger control method.

Another anger “control” method would be to suppress your feelings until you are able to redirect them in another direction. Wow! This seems to say that you should just swallow it and get on about your business. It would seem that the trouble with this approach is that you swallow so much anger that you just about bust open. Or in other words, your blood pressure builds causing hypertension which will completely do no good at all. So if you wish to practice redirection you should have a plan already in place allowing this redirection. All that comes to mind is a shut room with mattress walls that you can punch at until you calm down!

Actually the third anger control method is just that. Calm yourself down to avert problems. So calm down and stay out of trouble? Possibly easier stated than done. You not only would have to take care of any physical anger response to an opponent but you also need to take care of yourself. This means control yourself inwardly. Learned steps would be necessary to control heartbeat, blood pressure and the desire to punch those walls of mattress!

So how angry are you? Can you learn any or all of these methods by yourself? Or possibly your anger is having an impact on your life that calls for help from a third celebration. Yet you do not see yourself capable of walking into a group session or sitting on someone’s sofa for an hour or two per week. Well, here comes the internet to the rescue. Online counseling is a growing force available to anyone using the internet.

Of course the start is for you to type a few words into the search box and begin looking. So consider it. If there are times that you just can’t seem to control your feelings and this is affecting your life it is time for a change. Give the web a chance and see what happens. You can even use the internet to do a people search to find people that you haven’t seen in years like a family member or an old friend that you might trust to talk with.

Also read about emotional freedom technique scam - many people are using EFT to get into control of the success and happiness in their lives.

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